The Decisions That Break Us
by your little geisha
Summary: Shizuru proposes an ultimatum to Natsuki; She is tired of playing cat and mouse. No more feeling wanted, and then facing rejection. Eventual Shiz/Nat.


The Decisions That Break Us

Chapter 1

The clothing she wore, though appearing strewn together in a matter of seconds, dictated clearly the cruelty of the weather around her. Snowflakes of the purest white fell slowly, masking any sounds that may have been. Silence fell over her like a thick blanket, one that was neither desired nor unwanted.

Like many things in her life that she had no control over, it just _was_. This is how she lived her life. She accepted the hand she was dealt, however shitty it was at times. She accepted that she had no friends. She accepted that people might be right, that she actually was a lost cause. Hell, she even accepted it when she lost the only family member that had ever meant anything to her. And wasn't it just ironic...wasn't it just _fucking_ ironic that the one time she was going to change things and actually do something for herself, it blew up in her face. Life sure was funny sometimes. She had no doubt in her mind that the gods were laughing at her. Why wouldn't they be? Every point in her life was like a train wreck; so horrible to watch, yet it was impossible to tear your eyes away.

She was a fool. She knew she was taking the risk of a lifetime by coming out here. She was leaving herself open and vulnerable, two things she promised herself she would never do again. She spent years upon years building a fortress around herself that was seemingly impenetrable. She built the walls high, and it continuously did its job; it kept people out, and kept her safely inside. Yes, it was almost perfect...until that day; that was the day that she noticed the first crack.

Try as she might, she couldn't keep people at bay forever. High school was practically the designated area to meet new friends, enemies, lovers and one time flings. She glared at everyone around her, daring them to come closer. She scowled, grimaced, and got into fights to prove that she was not one to be messed around with. Some people, though. Some people were just so dense that they didn't get the picture. This is how she ended up with these odd things sometimes called friends. Slowly but surely, her fortress was collapsing. She was beginning to _feel_ again.

Though she now had friends and was far more social than she had ever been before, the fortress was still intact. She had friends, and yet she still had the distance that she so greatly sought after. It wasn't until she met _her _that the walls collapsed completely around her. Defenses shattered beyond repair, all that was left was the essence of herself.

Her heart was now on show for anyone who wanted a peek. Her soul was now bared for anyone who wanted proof that she had one. And her feelings...her feelings were revealed and shown to be raw, and completely unrestrained.

These feelings that she had developed were very quickly a thing of the past, and not worth remembering. Standing there enduring Winter's brutal kiss, she felt nothing. She didn't feel the biting wind, she didn't feel when rain began to come down in torrents, completely obscuring her view of the looming trees around her. Though she saw where she had bled heavily into the snow, she felt no pain. Though she felt herself crying, and her tears mingling with the rain to become one, she felt no sadness. Her body was numb, her thoughts were null, and her emotions were deadened. She was a shell.

As the rain beat relentlessly against her battered body, her thoughts drifted deliriously to the one person who was the greatest cause of her happiness, and the greatest cause of her sorrow. Who knew that just one person could cause her emotions to move like a raging flood? Who knew that just one person could orchestrate her every move, all the while unbeknownst to them? Thoughts of slender hands, flawless skin, and crimson eyes that always saw right through her danced around her head.

Slowly her hands moved to her face, and soon covered her eyes. Before she knew what was happening, her body was wracked mercilessly with sobs that she wasn't aware she was holding back.

Her tears fell swiftly, and soon matched the speed of the falling rain. Sobs rang forth one after another, ripping through the silence of the forest that existed before. During her symphony of cries, only three words were uttered repeatedly. Whether she was aware of it or not, these words were forced through clenched teeth multiple times, and laced heavily with sorrow and regret.

"Shiz..uru...don't go...Shizuru...don't...go..."

At the last utterance that could barely be considered a whisper, she collapsed to her knees. Whether it was from exhaustion or blood loss, she didn't know. All she knew at that precise moment was that her will to live was quickly fleeting, and she had no intentions of changing that. Contentment soon over came her, and she felt herself giving in to oblivion.

And then her world went black.

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The chicken at the podium clucked furiously, its eyes scanning the audience as if trying to take in ever detail. With the speed at which it was making those horrendous noises, simply listening in was damn near impossible. Natsuki gave a bored look up at the stage and sighed deeply. Student gatherings were most definitely not her thing. How was she supposed to pretend to pay attention with all that squawking going on?

She let her eyes wander away from the blonde haired girl up front and settled on the rest of the student council. Might as well get used to the faces she'd be avoiding at all costs. Hmm. Incredibly obnoxious Executive Director, Haruka Suzushiro. Mousy looking secretary girl with pointy hair, Yukino Kikukawa. Man-boy prissy pants Vice President, Reito Kanzaki. And last but not least...incredibly gorgeous Student Council President with creepy eyes WHO'S STARING RIGHT THE FUCK AT ME! AVERT!

Natsuki ripped her eyes away from the brunette and nearly nose dived into the person next to her to avoid the previous creepy contact. Seriously. Who the fuck stares like that? Natsuki huffed slightly and then stopped to look at the person next to her. If they gave her lip, she wouldn't hesitate to kick their ass.

"What the hell, you pathetic loser? I don't recall saying you could look at me, let alone touch me! So unless you want me to shove this nail file straight up your-"

Natsuki interrupted the would be threat with her own uproarious laughter. "Are you kidding me? Who the hell in their right mind would willingly touch you? No, no. See, there was a breeze that drifted from that direction, and it brought with it this really terrible smell. I was just checking to see if my deductions were true, and they were. The smell is coming from you." Natsuki smirked triumphantly before looking back towards the stage, remembering the reason she had looked away in the first place. Right. Creepy eyed girl.

Before Natsuki could look for the brunette with the strange eyes, a hand grabbed her shoulder, and something heavy connected with her jaw. "You bitch! You don't just start shit with me and look away."

Natsuki jumped up quickly, knocking over the chair that she was previously sitting on, and met the eyes of the irritated red head from before. "If you wanted an ass beating, all you had to do was ask."

She hadn't even finished her sentence before tackling the girl to the ground. The exchange between the two had gone unnoticed at first because of all the excitement, but now that the two were rolling around on the ground like animals...well, it was definitely a good way to get the attention of the whole school.

Just as Natsuki was about to throw her fist into the girls nose, a loud voice grabbed their attention, and caused both girls to cover their ears in disgust.

"You two there! Yes you delinquents, I'm talking to you! Who do you think you are, integrating this ceremony? I'll have you know, this behavior will not be tolerated!"

Natsuki paused briefly, and cocked her head in confusion. What the hell? Was the blonde girl slow? Before Natsuki had a chance to throw an insult at the girl, the secretary stepped forward and whispered something to the chic-err...executive director. "It's interrupting, Haruka-san."

Yukino smiled softly at Haruka before backing up to her previous position behind the loud girl. Haruka's eyebrow twitched slightly as she met friend's eyes in mock annoyance. "YU-KI-NO! That's what I said! Now! I must deal with the problem at hand!"

Natsuki looked over at the girl she had previously tackled and then back up at the stage. "Screw this. I'm outta here." As she was walking away from the crowd of people, the girl she had almost pulverized, and the student council, she heard someone clear their throat into the microphone. Try as she might, Natsuki couldn't help but look back when the voice echoed throughout the clearing. The only word that she could use to describe it was …..'Honey. Her voice...is honey. Tch. What the hell am I saying. She sounds weird.'

"Ara, ara. What an interesting start to the school year. You have all met the rest of the student council, now allow me to introduce myself. My name is Shizuru Fujino, and I will be your student council president. Let us all have a wonderful year, yes?"

Before Natsuki had cleared the area where all the students were gathered, she met the eyes of the girl who was apparently the student council president one last time. 'Creepy...on a massive level. Weird colored eyes, a really strange accent. You better hope you don't run into me, Shizuru Fujino. I will personally try to make your life hell.'

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A/N -I don't own anything but the story.

Alright guys. That's chapter one. I know it seems pretty confusing, but it'll make sense in time. I want to actually develop Natsuki's relationships with everyone. We all know it isn't exactly an easy process for her. Read and review, tell me if I should continue. Much love everyone.


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